distressedude | 028 ~ [Action/Voice]

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028 ~ [Action/Voice]

[ Friday Afternoon - House One ]
[Ever since the day Asch had to carry Ion home after he fell in the middle of the street, he's slowly come to a realization. For the past few days, the duration of time in which Ion was able to stand had only grown shorter and shorter. He can't stand at all without assistance, and that assistance essentially amounts to someone holding him up while his legs hang there, limply. Stairs have quickly become an impossible obstacle for him to overcome, forcing him to relocate to the spare room on the first floor. Now, with a pillow over his face, he laid in bed -- wishing he could fall back asleep so he would have an excuse not to call someone for help in getting up. He wasn't hungry, and in truth he just had no reason to get up and out of bed.]

[He wasn't going to get better. There was no known cure.]

[But that line of thinking wouldn't get him anywhere. It wasn't going to help him get better, and it wouldn't help him face the reality of what's happening to him. He hadn't even told anyone in the House about the diagnosis yet, using his own near-constant fatigue as an excuse to change the subject whenever it came up. And yet he's sure they've noticed something -- a change in him this past week. He hasn't been himself at all, and it seemed like the more he lost the ability to function, the more he lost the ability to care This morning had been no different, with Ion staying in bed well into the afternoon... until he heard something whining softly beside his bed.]

[Peeking out from behind the pillow, he saw the paws and nose of Colonel the puppy, curiously investigating as to why Ion was still in bed at almost 2 in the afternoon. Had someone opened the door for him? Or was he just getting better at getting into every little thing? After another whine and a short bark, Ion reaches out to gently scratch behind his ear, as if to reassure him.]

Did you come to wake me up? I've been awake for awhile now. [His words are met with a puzzled tilt of the head from Colonel.] I'm all right. Just... tired. That's why I'm still in bed, after all.

[With anther whine and a scampering of paws, Colonel bats at the bed again before skittering off to the other side of the room. Folded up by the desk is the wheelchair Ion borrowed from the clinic earlier that week, which has only been used but once. When he turns and barks again, Ion pulls the pillow away from his face and pushes himself upright.]

...what is it? Do you want to play? [An enthusiastic bark.] Why don't you go find Florian? Or Tear? [A whine, and then another bark.] I'm sorry. I can't play with you. [More scampering, and accompanied by a series of loud barks in succession. His patience has worn thin.] Colonel!

[The barking stops. With another soft whine, Colonel lays down and presses his nose to the floor. Ion didn't even realize why until he looked up, seeing the pillow from before in his hand, about to be thrown at the dog. As he lowers the pillow, Colonel perks up immediately and skips back over, paws once more up on the bedside.]

...I'm sorry.

[What was wrong with him? What was he doing?]

I'm so sorry, Colonel.

[It was silly. This was silly. He's already died before. What difference would it make if it happened again?]

I'm sorry... I can't even tell you the truth... can I?

[Since when has he been afraid of death?]

--

[ Saturday - Action / Voice ]
[Today was a new day.]

[For the first time in a long time, Ion got out of bed as soon as he woke up. It took more effort than he'd like to admit, but eventually he leaves his room, wheeling himself along in the wheelchair he borrowed from the clinic. He has only one goal for the day, and that goal is to make today as fundamentally normal for himself as possible. Though still feeling far more tired than usual, without the added strain of trying to force his leg muscles to move, accomplishing that goal actually seems to be within reach.]

[His first stop is the library. It's the place he frequents most often and the trip he knows he'll need to get used to first. Thankfully, these past few weeks of being unable to stand for very long have let him grow accustomed to asking for help reaching the books on the higher shelves. Now, it just means there are a few more rows he needs help with... though on the bright side, the previously inaccessible bottom row was now much easier to reach.]

[From there, he makes his way around to various other parts of the village, sometimes to actually go in but mostly just to get a feel for getting around. The school, Seventh Heaven, the clinic, the plaza... he's not quite brave enough to try venturing much further than that for now, but that was more than enough for one day. He's not exactly a champion of upper-body strength, after all. Before it even starts to get dark, he'll head back to House one.]

--

[Later that night, he pulls out his journal. His voice sounds tired, but his exact mood may be hard to place outside of anyone who knows him very well.]

Perhaps this question is a bit vague... but has anyone ever changed in a way that seemed to be for the worse, only to realize it could potentially be for the better? Not quite a physical change, but... a change in the way you think about certain things.

If you're willing to share, of course.

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[ Meanwhile, Kohan mistakes that for Ion being in even worse pain, so he starts moving a little quicker. ]

Of course. Hold on just a bit more.

[ And despite his worry, he's careful when he starts to lift Ion out of the wheelchair. ]

[The pain is bad, but that's not why he's asking like that. He told Kohan earlier he only used the chair because it was easier than trying to walk. And even though the hints implying otherwise were obviously there, it'll likely be that much more obvious that Ion can't even move his legs when Kohan helps move him -- namely, in the fact that Ion can't really assist him at all, other than to hold on to his arm. Thankfully, he's rather light, though whether or not that's a good thing is another matter.]

[He sighs once he's on the bed, laying down on his side almost immediately. It's only then that he speaks up.]

...thank you, Kohan.

[ Yeah... he's noticing. But he's not going to say anything right now. Right now, what matters is getting Ion comfortable. ]

Do you... feel any better?

Yes, a little. It feels better to be lying down.

[Look, he even manages a smile! A small one. He can't help but feel guilty now, knowing he's worried Kohan and made him go to all this trouble just for him...]

But I think I'll stay here for awhile, just in case.

Good. If... there's anything I can do, just let me know.

[ Kohan still feels guilty, too. He let Ion just guzzle down that milkshake D8 ]

[They're really good at this make-each-other-feel-guilty-forever thing, huh.]

[Ion nods and then falls silent for a few moments before speaking up, keeping his gaze low.]

Actually.... if it's all right with you, would you mind staying with me for awhile?

Huh? Yeah... sure. Of course.

[ He hesitates, then looks around the room. There's a chair off to the side, so after a moment he walks over to it and carries it back to the bed. He sits, awkwardly keeping his gaze off Ion.

augh guilt ]

[Even if Kohan's not looking at him, it's still comforting to have someone there. Though he can't help but feel bad for asking -- it's not as though Ion's in any position for scintillating conversation right now. Something he seems to register after a few minutes of silence pass.]

...I'm sorry, this is probably rather boring, isn't it? [With a soft, self-depreciating laugh.] At this rate, I'm afraid I might just fall asleep...

Edited 2013-05-17 11:55 (UTC)

It's fine. Really.

... Go to sleep if you want to. Don't worry about me.

[ He can get eaten by guilt in silence just fine 8Db ]

[You'd think Ion was just struggling to stay awake all this time -- it's barely a few minutes after Ion responds with a small nod that he seems to drift off to sleep. And for awhile, it certainly seems like he's going to stay that way.]

[But after almost an hour of sleeping peacefully, his face scrunches up as though he were in pain while he shifts uncomfortably on the bed, grappling with a nightmare. It's probably at least half milkshake-induced, but it's pretty hard to tell these days, with all the weird side effects caused by his medication and his condition.]

[ Kohan isn't entirely sure if he should stick around. On the one hand, if Ion woke up and he wasn't here, he'd feel pretty bad... but on the other, if it took too long he might just fall asleep himself.

But before it's been long enough for time to start dragging, Ion isn't sleeping quite so peacefully anymore.

And Kohan doesn't really know how to handle nightmares, so he does the first thing that comes to mind: try to wake Ion up. ]

Hey! Ion! [ He puts a hand on his shoulder, but manages to keep himself from actually giving Ion a shake. Maybe his voice would be enough... ]

[Thankfully for Ion, it is -- but even with Kohan's hand on his shoulder, he still jumps the moment his eyes open, letting out a sharp gasp. The way he's breathing, in jagged and unsteady breaths, you'd think he just finished running a marathon.]

[It takes a few moments of staring for him to register that he's awake, still trying to calm down.]

...Kohan?

[ Kohan's panicked expression doesn't go away, though it fades somewhat when Ion wakes up. ]

I'm here.

[ It's the first thing that comes out of his mouth, before he even thinks to stop it. ]

...o-oh. I thought...

[He trails off for a moment and shakes his head. He'd rather not let himself think about how that thought should end. He still can't seem to catch his breath, and he's shivering quite a bit -- whatever he was dreaming about must have really shaken him.]

...I'm sorry. Was I asleep very long?

... Not too long.

[ It's sorta true. But now Kohan is noticing that shivering.

He hesitantly lets go of Ion's shoulder. ]

Are you okay?

[ ... Stupid question. Stupid, stupid, stupid question. ]

[He doesn't answer right away, instead shifting into a sitting-up position, hand over his chest as he takes a few deep breaths. He nods, but it's only after about a minute or so that he speaks up.]

...I'll be all right. It just takes me awhile to catch my breath. [He knows Kohan is probably asking about whatever it is that necessitated waking Ion up in the first place, but he'd rather not talk about that if he can avoid it.]

Thank you for waking me up.

... No problem. Take your time.

[ But he's watching to make sure Ion doesn't idk get worse or something. Not that Kohan would be able to really do much except shout and hope one of the people who could actually do proper clinic stuff came in time, but hey. Thought that counts. ]

[He doesn't get any worse, but much like he said, it does take him awhile to finally catch his breath, with his breathing going back and forth from relatively normal to somewhat labored and disjointed. When he finally starts sounds normal, he turns to Kohan with a smile that's only a little forced.]

...well. At least my stomachache is gone?

... Yeah.

[ It's not much consolation. Kohan's quiet for a moment. ]

That was... a nightmare, right? Do you get those... a lot?

...sometimes. But it's all right. I don't even remember it anymore.

[He's already made Kohan worry so much over him, and this is just the first day of him being in a wheelchair... what happens when Ion gets too sick to get out of bed? Or even move at all? It was difficult enough imagining what it will be like to go through without thinking about how difficult it will be for those who have to see him go through it...]

I hope I haven't taken up too much of your day by keeping you here for so long.

No... not really. I didn't mind it.

[ Well he didn't like the fact that Ion was having all this trouble, but... given that he was. ]

If you need any more help... just ask, okay? I don't mind.

[Just ask... huh. That was something Ion was going to have to get used to. But if Kohan was actually offering, then maybe this would be all right. There's nothing wrong with depending on the people close to you when you need them... right?]

[In spite of himself, his smile becomes a bit more genuine as he nods.]

...thank you, Kohan.

[They didn't stick around the clinic too much longer after that, with Kohan eventually helping Ion make his way back home for the night.]

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028 ~ [Action/Voice]

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