Fon Master Ion (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
distressedude) wrote2010-03-01 01:56 am
distressedude) wrote2010-03-01 01:56 am
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[I don't want to leave at all. He thinks the words, but he doesn't say them. How could he explain leaving behind his past life without telling her that he doesn't have a choice? It's not a conversation he wants to have right now. It's not a conversation he wants to have at all.]
[After only a few moments of silence, he reaches out and takes one of Anise's hands in his own.]
...I feel the same. There are things here that I never want to forget.
[He gently squeezes her hand.]
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So many people lose their loved ones, and it's always so sad...
I don't ever want to lose you.
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[And even if she did, what would become of it? After that last conversation with Nephry, he knows now that being with Anise isn't something he could bring himself to do while he's still lying to her about his fate on Auldrant. She doesn't want to lose him... but she'll lose him for real if he's ever sent "home". Even if she doesn't realize it...]
[He's been quiet for too long, his gaze fixated on the ground. The hand holding onto Anise's is shaking.]
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[Finally, the silence becomes too much for her to bear.]
I'm sorry...Did I say something wrong?
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Not at all. I was... just thinking about something.
[Something that demanded a subject change, lest things grow far too heavy. There's another pause as he stumbles around for a topic... oh. Well, there was something he needed to bring up with her. He hadn't really wanted to discuss it while he was still sick, but now was as good a time as any, right?]
...I don't believe I had the chance to mention it before, but... Ion was sent home recently. [And before he can think to correct himself, he adds:] The real Ion.
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[Very firmly:] You're real too.
[But it's still sad. She knows that there's nothing but death waiting for Ion's original, just like there's nothing waiting for Professor Nebilim.]
I...hope he's happy, wherever he is now. It must be really lonely for him, with Arietta still here...
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...actually, I spoke with Arietta about it the day he left.
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[A feeling he knows all too well, for certain.]
She didn't even realize it meant he was gone until I explained it to her.
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[Clearly getting Anise to see pity for Arietta's pain would be a lost cause. She'd been against him telling her that he wasn't the "real" Ion back home as well, after all.]
...if she didn't know he was gone, she would have eventually seen me and wondered why "Ion" wasn't living with her anymore. And I'm certain running into Florian would have been even more confusing for her. He wouldn't even recognize her...
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...you're wrong, Anise. I'm not the one she's "obsessed" with.
[The one she loves is the original Ion. The one who isn't here anymore.]
That's why I told her everything.
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What other choice did I have? I can't just try and avoid her forever, can I? There's no telling how she would have reacted to seeing seeing me again, let alone Florian...
[But there was more to it than just that, and Ion knew it. The free hand resting above his knee tightens into a fist.]
...I didn't want to go back to being Ion's replacement again.
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But you know how stubborn and clingy she is! Did she believe you?
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...I think so. But to be honest, I'm not sure how much she understands about the difference between a replica and it's original. I'm sure... the fact that my name is still "Ion" is confusing enough, for her...
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Boooooo. Tell me if she gives you any trouble, and I'll take care of her.
[Although she's already planning to give Arietta a good bout of yelling as soon as she finishes this conversation with Ion.]
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[He keeps his eyes fixed on the ground for a moment or two before looking up at Anise with a frown. He knows there's a lot of hate there -- just as much as he knows the hate is mutual. Even if he doesn't understand why.]
...she just lost the most important person in her life. Don't you feel anything for her?
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[Way to guilt-trip, Mr Fon Master.]
I just don't want her to hurt you, Ion.
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[At least that guilt is double-sided? Though perhaps he's just identifying with her more than he should. He knows now what it's like to lose someone in this place. What it's like to want to be with someone who isn't here. And even now, what it's like to care about someone so much yet still be unable to truly be with them. At least he's still able to be near Anise, but Arietta...]
If she wanted to hurt me, she's already had the opportunity. And I don't believe she would hurt someone who has the same face as the person she cares about.
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[Well, it's not as though he can deny that. It's true, after all.]
Be that as it may, it would be worse if she thought I was my original. Perhaps this way... someday she'll be able to accept that I'm not the person she wants to think I am. That's what I want to believe.
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[Her tone and expression should be enough to convey the abyssal depths of her skepticism.]
How are you feeling about all of this?
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