distressedude | 020 ~ [Voice]

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020 ~ [Voice]

[Save perhaps Sync's recent arrival, Ion hasn't been as stressed as he has been these past few months. The lack of experiments has made for a nice change of pace, though he's been refraining from saying as much. Just in case the Malnosso suddenly feel like putting an end to this little break... but it's that lack of stress that makes this new condition of his all the more mysterious. Losing a few feathers when he was sick wasn't entirely uncommon for him, and he had been feeling rather under the weather these past few days, but... well.]

Perhaps this is a bit of an odd question, but has anyone ever had their wings suddenly [...] change? Aside from just the color.

[Glancing over his shoulder. He has his wings folded behind his back so they don't appear in the journal-window. Usually they weren't out at all... which is mostly why he's only now noticing the change.]

Though I guess the color would apply as well, in this case...

[...]

[What, they don't really teach about filial puberty in school! At least, if they did, it was probably one of those days Ion when was out sick. Which is a lot. Though someone Ion's age probably should have already lost most of the fluffy feathers on his wings...... he's a late bloomer, okay.]

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I see! That's a relief...

[Though he will stop and look up at Nephry at that comment with just a bit of a grin. Wasn't she the one who just told him there was no cure...?]

I'll be sure to keep that in mind if I hear from him.

...I really shouldn't need to ask, but...how old are you?

[How has he chosen to count his years?]

[A soft chuckle.] Luceti doesn't make keeping track very easy, does it... I've actually been 15 for a few months now based on Auldrant's calender. But I think it'll be easier to just use Luceti's system for the future.

[That number is already chronologically wrong for him, anyway.]

[Fifteen sounds about right. That's around when Peony-

No, never mind. His Majesty had always been a flirt.]

I think that's about the right age. [For a boy. She's not sure, really.]

[It would take more than a regular hormone change to turn someone into as big a flirt as Peony is.]

I'm just relieved it's nothing serious. For awhile there, I thought I may have been coming down with something...

[The journals didn't help, s-sob.]

Well. You, in particular, must always be concerned about that.

[Invading his space with a hand on his forehead in 3...2...]

You're not warm. ...Though I suppose you could ask Saphir, if you thought something else was wrong.

[Hey, as long as she's not touching his wings again, he doesn't mind at all.]

I have been feeling a bit under the weather these past few days, but the wings aside, it's just been a normal cold.

[His reaction to the wings worries her a little bit.]

Your wings don't hurt, do they? [Yep, touching the molting one again.]

[ffffff cue a short gasp and another twitch of his wings. But although he's brought his hand up to his face, he looks more like he's trying not to laugh rather than being in pain.]

N-No, they don't hurt at all! But it... tickles when the feathers move. I'm sure it'll pass when they stop being so sensitive. It was like this after they finished growing back as well.

Oh. [Oops. Inadvertent torture. Nephry drops her hand and looks apologetic.] You don't leave your wings visible anymore.

Ah, well... it's just easier to keep them covered most of the time. Especially when it's still so cold outside.

[Which is true, but is so not the real reason.]

Yes, it is. It must get quite uncomfortable inside, though.

It does sometimes, but I guess I've just gotten used to it.

...I have a feeling there's another reason you're not mentioning.

[Nothing in her voice intends to force him to, either.]

[Softly:]

...it's safer this way, isn't it?

[Oh.

He's afraid.]

It...might be, yes. ...I don't think it's the best safety to count on if you should be drafted again.

[Drafted again.]

[It only takes those two words for Ion's entire countenance to change. For a moment, his eyes widen, and then he quickly looks away, hugging his arms tightly against his chest.]

I know that. [He says it quickly, but his voice sounds strained. He keeps his face angled away and takes a deep breath, trying to pull himself together quickly.]

[It was hard enough knowing his friends were still being sent out without having to think about what might happen if he got sent out again. He still hasn't quite gotten over what happened last time. The only time he's ever talked about it was with Nephry that one time.]

Ion...

[A hand brushes his shoulder, but falls away. It wouldn't be strange, she thinks, if he didn't want the comfort. At least, not from her.]

I'm sorry.

[Oh, he'd love some comfort right now. But at the same time, he knows this is a problem he needs to work on himself. Unfortunately, a hug wouldn't really help him to restore his composure.]

[It takes a few more deep breaths before he can respond, his voice a bit shaky, but otherwise normal.]

...please don't apologize. I--

[He falls silent again before resting his hands in his lap and shaking his head. There's an attempt at a smile, but that's about all it can be called.]

Can we talk about something else?

...You don't have to force yourself not to react, all right? [The hand rests on his forearm, instead.

She knew how bad it was; it slipped her mind somehow, and she brought it up anyway. There are things that will do this same thing to her, and she feels she ought to know better.]

What would you like to talk about?

[A weak nod. He knows he doesn't need to hold back, but at this point, he doesn't know how else to cope with this other than to force it back until it doesn't show anymore. The furthest thing from healthy, of course, but that's how he's always dealt with things in the past, right? Why was this so different...]

[He's silent for a few moments, trying to think of something happier to talk about, before saying in a soft voice:]

...did I ever tell you that I decided on a day for my birthday?

[It wasn't totally random. She did ask how old he was earlier, after all.]

[Someday they will have a different Talk about how not to kill yourself with fear and the desire not to show it.]

No, you didn't. Which day did you choose?

May 1st. I don't remember the exact day on Auldrant, but I know it was towards the middle of the year.

[Because replicas are special and are actually capable of potentially remembering the day they were born.]

Well. We'll have to celebrate. Will you call yourself fifteen, then, or sixteen?

To be honest, I'm not sure... I've only known that I've been 15 for a little while, but when I figured that out, I realized I've been 15 for awhile. 16 would probably make more sense.

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